The Brilliano Effect?
I have been feeling very strange since I made contact with other poeple who have had a Kundalini awakening. It feels to me like I have a huge amount of energy in my system, and is leading to physical symptoms. Is it possible that in making a connection with others like me I have further opened some part of my brain and this is a part of the Kundalini process?
Is it possible that by connecting with other people, the sharing of our stories has connected us at a psychic level, and the intense feelings I have been getting could be me tapping into some pool of global/universal energy and thus my symptoms result from this?
I don't know the answer right now, but I can say that since sharing my story things are different to say the least. The pull to quit work is greater than I have experienced in a long time. To spend more time with my daughters is a very attractive proposition and one I deeply feel the need to fulfill.
I hadn't expected this! I don't know long I can contain this at work, something of the experience I am going through must already be obvious to my colleagues, but so far no-one has said anything. If this gets any stronger then something is going to spill over, I am a little worried about what might happen, and what people will think when it does. If I go off into a visionary state, what on earth am I going to say/do?
I wanted to document my experience in real time and the following is my account of how I felt:
It started with a pang of anger at a work colleague, this quickly turned to paranoia. I experienced a brainstorm like feeling. It is something like a buzzing throbbing phasing feeling clouding my thinking and I now struggle to maintain a train of thought, and i'm struggling to write this now. I tried to clear it with a cup of tea, but this just seemed to make it worse and my thinking became more addled, next I tried coffee and I have been able to pull it together enough to start writing. It has come with a feeling of despair though, one that I can't go on and I just want to go to bed and hide. I have to constantly reassure myself now that I have been through this before and I have not only been fine, but it has heralded the Kundalini surge. I crave this experience again, along with all that it can teach me.
So I talk my self down from a mild panic, but the fuzzy feeling is still with me and I have to focus very carefully about writing this account. I feel ill, like i've been poisoned, but I have to continue with my working day, how am I going to make it until 5pm? My breathing is a little laboured and my heartbeat is quicker than normal. My vision as well is flitting from one thing to another and I have to concentrate to maintain a fix on anything for any small duration of time. I wonder if this could descend into something debilitating, and I fear that my body might give up in some way and I might faint or collapse, i'm pleased I am sitting down. I hope this clears up on its own, I might go for a walk to try and clear this. I can't continue with my work.
A little while ago I decided to commit 100% to pushing on against evil and I said a little prayer to ask for support in doing so. In doing this my head cleared a little but the pressure has now returned and along with it the fuzzy thinking. I'm phasing in and out of thoughts and in and out of writing this, I feel like my brain might just pop and stop thinking altogether. I need the loo, this might be interesting!
That feels a bit better, and my thinking has cleared a little and I feel a bit more normal. My brain still feels like it is pushing against the inside of my skull, like it has enlarged or something. Could this be the reason for my muddled thinking?
After half an hour I have returned to something close
to normality, the pressure has gone, the muddled thinking has gone,
but my brain still feels swollen. Thoughts that "I can't keep going"
keep resurfacing and bugging me.
An hour later and I feel normal again, but extremely
tired, like this experience has taken it out of me. I find myself asking
if this could have been brought on my general tiredness. It is true
that I have not slept well on 2 out of the last three nights, but maybe
this works the other way round, the energy in me has been causing me
not to sleep and now three days on it is revealing its true self.
I want to share and communicate with others, but i'm going to have to stop, or at least take a break if this is what happens.