My Kundalini Awakening - day 3

I find that everyone else is ready to go to bed, and as my daughter is already in bed I decide that even though I do not feel tired I will do the same, the sooner we get this over with the better as far as I am concerned.

I feel ready to face whatever night time evil comes our way and for the first time in ages have no apprehension about the coming hours. I head up the stairs and stop to use the toilet and while doing so it crosses my mind to grab the alcohol gel from the little room, it is one of two bottles in there so I will not be depriving anyone of clean hands, and while I have already had a bath I see no harm in extra cleansing, so when I am done and head into the bedroom I remove my clothes and wash all over with the alcohol gel. As before I make sure I cover the soles of my feet and my hair, and when I am done I climb into bed. As I am not tired, I switch on the bedside lamp, take out my borrowed bible and begin to read the New Testament from the beginning.

At some point later I hear an argument start up next door in Daivd’s neighbours house. It seems very heated and while I can only hear the man’s voice, there seems to be an exchange of insults and accusations. After a while I hear a door slam and that is the end of it. The man screamed out last night, so I can’t help but think this event is also connected. I wonder if because of my preparations this evening he has found no means of spiritual entry to David’s house and this has caused him great frustration and ultimate failure. I smile at the victory over our not so secret assassin next door, and return to reading. Later when my eyes are tired and can no longer read, I visit the toilet and on my return make sure to use the alcohol rub again, and then put out the light and lay awake waiting for something to happen. A long time later I start to feel a bit uncomfortable, and I check my phone for the time, it is midnight and I begin to sense new fear rising in me so I quickly say the Lord’s prayer and close my eyes to face whatever it is.

I am not sure if I fall asleep but I quickly find that I am having a vision and I stand back on the quarry field in the day time, but the light is as it was before in my previous vision, it is high in contrast and is red’ish brown, as before there is a cloudy and hazy sky preventing the sun from shining through clearly. The scene before me looks apocalyptic and there are a few individual fires burning around the mines. The flint mine ahead of me is as it would have been in Neolithic times, it looks new and currently in use for it is not covered in grass and partially filled in, and rather it is a deep pit with straight sides, in fact there is no grass anywhere and the area is simply rock, earthen banks and pits. The quarry area is filled with these pits and the town below doesn’t exist at all. All I can see of any settlement is a small collection of crude wooden shelters near the quarries edge and I rather feel that I have travelled back in time to the Neolithic age itself. There is no human presence in this vision which seems strange to me but what is clear is that the significance of David’s warning to me earlier is manifest before me now. As I watch this scene before me I hear a deep rumbling like that of a heavy stone being dragged across the ground. It seems to be coming from the pit nearest to me so I creep forward to look over the lip and as I do a rush of steam comes from the pit, it is hot and it scolds my face and my hands as I raise them to protect myself, and I stumble back. From in the pit I can now hear scrabbling noises like something is climbing out of it and finding it difficult to get a foothold on the rough and loose edges of its rocky hole. As the steam slowly clears I perceive something is standing on the edge of the pit and its breathing heaves up and down as it recovers from its long climb from deep below. I continue to walk backwards until I trip into a spoil heap and fall on my rear.

I think that I should be fearful, but for some reason I am not, and as this thing steps out of the steam to reveal itself I feel the now familiar electricity rush through my body and I briefly remember that I am still lying on the bed. The face that emerges is cat-like but is the size of a grizzly bear’s head and has two horns like those of a bull. From the edge of the pit it walks slowly toward me on all fours and I can see that while this monster has the upper body of a bear the rear end narrows and is more like that of gorilla. It is covered in thick brown fur which has not been affected by the intense steam, despite my face and hands throbbing with the sting of burning. Across its head is a large diagonal wound that crosses one eye and has taken some teeth which gives the head an ugly lop-sided look to it. The wound looks deep and by rights this animal should not have survived such an injury, but the injury appears to have healed into a horrible scar and clearly has not been fatal to it.

Rather than upset an agent of evil, I have upset evil itself, and the root of all evil now has come for me.
The beast opens its large jaws to speak and a deep thunderous voice comes forth.

‘Who will wage war against me?’ It threatens.

I sit there like a little boy who is being told off by his parent, but unlike a child who is embarrassed and guilt ridden I am impetuous like a naughty school boy.

‘Who’s asking?’ I respond with tenacity and without reverence.
‘You know who I represent.’ The beast angrily replies.
‘Well if that’s the case, you can tell your master that he’s already lost.’ I stand and brush myself down.

The beast growls and snarls like it is trying to scare me. It performs what appears to be a rehearsed spectacle of strength for me, and does so with the confidence of a warrior who has never been defeated.

‘You must know that after all that I have been through in recent days, that I will stand against you, and now I know that it was you behind all of this I’m sure you already know what my next move will be.’

When the beast sees that it is not phasing me, it stops its show of strength and sits back on its hind legs as if to build up power in them. Without any further warning it leaps at me claws outstretched. I feel a new and very large surge of electric energy pass down my spine as the beast flies toward me and I know what I must do.

‘I forgive you.’ I utter as its claws are about to reach my flesh, and the beast disintegrates before me.

I am showered in what appears to be harmless earth that falls around me. I open my eyes to see that I am in the darkened bedroom once again and I feel like I need to spit out some dirt and blink it away from my eyes but am otherwise unharmed by the experience.

I start to give thanks to God for allowing me to withstand such a horrific encounter and I receive, as if in response, more waves of current. It is again such an astounding feeling that it makes me cry at the blissful and overwhelming loving feeling. I then call on all of the people who have helped me over the previous nights and am rewarded with more of the same overwhelming sensations. I rejoice with all my heart and feel so good that I realise all other pleasurable feelings I have ever had pail into insignificance when compared to this experience. I feel that I have reached Nirvana, that I have achieved the Godhead, and have touched the very soul of God.

When the feeling passes I realise that what I have not experienced however is a vision of Jesus, or God himself and I am confused by this, as I have felt things that surely should give rise to visions of the son and father. I start to think through what this means, and I ponder on the idea that I could be God but have forgotten my true identity like the Zen Buddhist belief, and while I play this game called being me I am actually the divine source of life itself. This doesn’t feel correct though, and I am not about to go and announce to everyone that I am he. I wonder then if I am the living embodiment of the return of Jesus Christ, but I can’t equate my experience to the earlier revelation that I had become an olive branch grafted on to the royal tree. No this feels different, like I am in some way connected to the source, but I am not indeed the source and could not honestly claim to be so. I think about why I haven’t visually seen anything manifest of Jesus Christ and then it hits me, I have had a vision of Jesus and his father and what’s more I have seen it many times. It becomes so clear to me that I have been so stupid and naïve. Why didn’t I realise it sooner? It is so obvious and literally staring me in the face. The eyes of my youngest daughter, in her eyes I have seen Jesus Christ, she has been looking at me with those wonderful big blue eyes for many months now. Eyes that seem to hold a whole universe within them, full of possibility hope, and they have been an experience for me of love and honesty, of truth and innocence, of the divine and pure essence of life itself. And my sweet eldest, on Christmas day, running up to the front of the church in front of all those people to open that present and hold the tiny effigy of the baby Jesus in her hands, and then showing him to the congregation with confidence and passion.

I am stunned by my failure to see these things sooner, and I feel now the guilt and embarrassment that the beast had want me to feel earlier, albeit for different reasons. My daugthers are closer to the source of life than any other thing in my life and they reflect in their eyes a vision of all the mystery of life itself. I cry anew at the understanding that Jesus can be found in the eyes of my daughters and when I think about my youngest’s infectious toothless smile my heart aches with love for our creator and father. We gave her the middle name Mary like my mother and her mother before her, and without realising the religious connotation of the name. For a moment I feel like the father of the mother of the second coming, and wonder if it could ever be true. I guess we will have to wait and see about that but it becomes clear to me that her soul was never in jeopardy and unlike myself, my wife and my eldest I never needed to be concerned for her well being, and that she was already protected by the divine.

 

 

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