I'm far enough away now from my experience that it is beginning to seem so distant that I am questioning again if it happened at all.

While I try to feel the memories of the things that transpired, it is getting difficult for me to relive them. My life seems so mundane today and the things that happened so fantastic that, I can't help but question if I imagined it. Could it really be that I attained Mocksha, is it actually possible that I spoke to God and to the Devil? It has been too long since I last had a Kundalini surge and even longer since I had any sort of revelation. I wonder as I have before if I will ever experience Kundalini again. I certainly hope so, as it is true inspiration for me, however I seem to have completed an arc of a story in my life.

I am aware of the possibility that I may never again repeat the experiences that I had, that they are all i'm going to get, and all I have of them now is my fading memory. In part I am okay with this and at least I have my written account of the last few years, and I may turn to this in the future to remind myself of all that happened.


I'm not okay, I'm okay