The idea of things being better in times gone by, and of the future looking bleak is something that I am fixated on, and cannot see the root of.

What I mean by this is that I can't imagine a Star Trek utopia waiting for us in a few hundred years time, rather the future is a bleak wasteland much like the future in the Terminator films. Given human nature and the flaws of people around me I envisage us sliding down to more of a 1984 future than a I Robot one. Also looking back into the past I keep thinking that maybe 50 - 100 years ago, society was a much healthier animal, I fear that our English culture has peaked and we are now at the arse end of it.

So the question I have is where do I get this feeling from and why do I feel it so strongly?

Certainly I have grown up in an era of pessimism and isolation, but then perhaps everybody does, and always has! I believe I had a great childhood and had loving parents, lots of friends, and no social problems/money problems. I am now in a loving relationship, I have no money worries and I have no need to think bad things, but I still do, maybe it just reflects the type of person I am?

So to Delusion; I certainly could be deluded and i'm actually seeing things wrong, there's no way to tell without getting out of my skin. Trouble is, hypnosis and delusion are plentiful in this world and we are so easily brainwashed so it could be that all of the dark future stories have sold me a lie.

Could this be a fundamental truth? some sort of throw back to a garden of eden analogy where we've, all of us, been cast from the garden and must suffer knowing that things were great once but now they suck, is t6yr4 (my god) trying to tell me something with this feeling? Am I being told that I can make a difference?

This website is an expression of something, i'm not sure what, but something in me that is beyond education, beyond curiosity, and beyond fear made me create it.

Ultimately though this dark future vision is all good because the more I see the black storm in the distance, the more I want to make the sky above me brighter!

The universe is hostile, so impersonal,
devour to survive... so it is, so it's always been,
We all feed on tragedy,
it's like blood to a vampire,
vicariously I live while the whole world dies,
much better you than I.

Vicarious,Tool

I find it amusing to come across an idea that can't be reasoned away as being either delusion, quasi-realisism, or fundamental truth.