It's the damndest thing, dieting is a bizarre game of hide and seek. My brain plays little tricks on me; whispering assurances or denying the truth from me. Before I know it i'm half way through a can of beer or a dohnut and I seem to lack the common sense that I need to continue on the straight and narrow.

As a result I go through spells of dieting and abstenance from alcohol, only to find that something will happen and I can talk myself into eating and drinking as a means to an end. The end being my bodies lust for comfort.

I exercise; jogging, or playing squash, cycling, or sometimes I swim, but these things don't seem to help me lose any weight. It's strange but I find it easier to diet when i'm doing absolutely nothing. When I exercise I eat an awful lot more and get into the games again.

Don't get me wrong, i'm not a bloater like Mr Creosote (above) but I am overweight and the love handles are not attractive. One game I play involves me believing that I am losing weight, so I feel good about it and justified in eating crap as i've been doing so well. There's no regret either, I feel almost smug but then a day later I realise that i'm not actually getting anywhere.

I am constantly impressed with my bodies ability to trick me into a yo-yo lifestyle of gaining and losing weight, it's something I hope to cure by committing this problem to writing. I have often thought I need to make a declaration but have always avoided it until now.

So, maybe this time...

I need to lose some weight, I am damaging my body by overconsuming both food and alcohol.