I am a slave and I have a cruel master, I call it happiness and it is a small area in my brain that requires feeding 1440 minutes a day.

Everything I consume, think about, feel, and do, is all to serve my master who is never satisfied.

My life revloves around and is controlled by happiness, I will spend my years feeding this centre of my brain and potentially miss the point of life. It's incredible to me that I have not seen this before, I thought it was a traight of a corrupt personality that needed clensing.

To find that it is an actual location in the brain that is craving and needing sustinence changes my view of pleasure seeking a little. Where as I thought it was a conscious feedback loop before, now I see that it is a physical aspect of a cold hardwired brain. The circular and spiralling nature of this slave driver is the same, but there is a built in dependency where I thought there was none.

It seems that humans have a requirement to seek happiness and to ditch rational thought at the first sign of happiness being injured. The fact that I have realised this is a step toward stopping it surely? Perhaps my thinking is tied into this process and while I feel that independant thought is the antithesis of this process, maybe it's feeding it too.

I had looked at happiness as a base state of being before now, if a mind was free it was happy, but a happy mind is still in bondage. It has no more freedom than an heroin addict does and you should try coming off the happiness drug!

The base state of being is something like nothing, the mind is not pulled in any direction, happiness is a hook and a line.

Suddenly I see, why the hell it means so much to me.

KT Tunstal,
Suddenly I see.