something strange is happening to my voice, In situations where I need a strong voice, I do not have one. This is something that I have relied upon in the past to present an air of confidence, but while I do not feel any less confident, my voice seems to be presenting a weak and unconfident individual.

I do not know why this is happening. If I was pushed to provide and explanation I would say that it represents a new outlook on life and the idea that I can exude confidence without having to be loud and obnocious. However I am worried that I might be becoming subserviant to others and losing my will.

If people choose to push me then they will find out the truth behind my actions. It feels a bit like I was always putting up a facade for people and now I no longer have to do it.

Accompanying the change in vocal volume, I also have a feeling that the way I hold myself is something I must also change if I want to be seen as confident, I think that my posture needs a lot of work before I can hold my head up high and walk tall. I think I have been walking and sitting stooped for so long that to sit properly and to walk straight and tall is something that is a very difficult and painfull thing for me to do. I have made a start and it hurts, as I type this now I believe I am sitting straight but I am suffering from shooting pains up my back and my muscles are aching like they have never been used before.