God spoke to me the other day.
He was sitting on top of my computer monitor. I didn't really notice him at first, just a tiny little spot, like a crack in reality...
Shit, someones going to have to die before you'll get it.
You're so stupid, you don't see what's in front of your nose. Only a cataclismic event will shake you out of your tree, your fucking insane for not getting this. you who's so clever, so sure of yourself, and yet so tortured.
You've got it all backwards, why can't you see? Why? You're stuck in repeating cycles of decay, you will end up killing yourself because you are so dumb, I hate you. You will go to an early grave because this world has messed you up so bad, has told you so many half truths that you have no trust anymore. No trust in anything anyone tells you, and no faith in yourself.
I want to kill you, it would put you out of your misery, you have
got to snap out of this because I love you. While I can go on indefinately
nursing your wounds, I don't think I want to any more. Everything in your
life is a tradegy,
All these things I write because I cannot speak them, not through fear but through compassion, through knowing it will not help, it is a philosophy that I follow, do you realise how easy things can be if you just follow some rules. Pick them yourself, but go and find out, don't sit and do nothing you sad fucked up freak.
Your too scared to move, too scared to think outside of your tiny box. I want to smash it open, I want to show you how it can be, but even if I did, you'd not learn anything because you have to do this for yourself.
But you've lost the capacity, you can't learn anything that doesn't
agree with your world view. Your brain should be a sponge but instead
it has become the eye of a needle. I know it, you kind of know it, but
you do squat. If you do say
How many times will you go round before you get bored, before you realise, before you want to get off, how many? It will happen eventually, it must, it is your destiny. So I will sit and wait for you to wake, wait for you to come round, to stop being so tired.