Closer to God

I have become normalized, constrained, Fixed in monotonous circles I dare not break. I do not break them for fear of hurting people. I am a slave to my conscience, a slave to a society. I see now how people end up boring, I see why couples end up marrying. I believe love is found in passion, anger, and adventure. Marriage on the other hand is found in the need to preserve and recapture, love is found in hopelessness.

Why do I not love?

Is it because I do not receive love.

Why do I not receive love?

Is it because I do not give love.

If I am told I am loved and do not feel it,

is there something wrong with me?

Is it all a game that I must play along with?

Compromise seems to be the killer of love, it is at fault, it allows for relationships where none should exist. Selfishness kills love, it allows love from afar, but not love up close.

Do I want Love?

I seek more the understanding of a kindred spirit, is this love?

If there is one image of love that means something to me, it is at the end of life. When all is lost and death is near, that is when love shines through. To die alone is to die without love, and alone may not just be in the physical sense, it may also be in the head, and in the heart.

If you feel that when you die, you will die alone, you have not found love and should seek it out.