Personal Values



I have arrived at the conclusion that people will judge others by their own values and will not, and can not judge people by a set of common values or by the others values. Even if one claims to be impartial, there is still an element of personal judgement that will come into play and distort the facts.


For a friendship to work the two participants must understand each others values and think about them when making desicions, The strength of a relationship can be judged by the understanding of each others values. If the friendship is suffering it is probably because one or the others values have been violated. 

It is easy to see that this could happen for two reasons, firstly the value was not know by one friend, and as a result the reaction from the aggrieved is realised through conflict. The second reason is malice, one participant knows how to wind up the other and thus purposefully acts against the values of the other participant

Friendships can exist at many levels of value respect, and a good friendship can quickly become a bad one if one participant willfully or stupidly neglects the others values.


Values must be based in experience and while subject to change over the course of a life, will not change day-to-day, they will govern behavior and feelings, if the feelings are not communicated when the values are violated a downward spiral incurs and will ultimately result in a collapse of the friendship.


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