Through re-reading Further Converstaions With Don Juan, I have discovered a few things that I had missed from the first read, such as Don Juan having a dead son called Eulalio, and Death and an Ally being the same thing. However most importantly for me I have discovered an answer to my stomach complaint which seems to fit so well with my expereince that I can't beleive I missed it before. The book states:

A power that comes out of his body as he progress on the path of knowledge. At first it is like an iching on the belly, or a warm spot that cannot be soothed; then it becomes a pain, a great discomfort. Sometimes the pain and discomfort are so great that the warrior has convulsions for months, the more severe the convulsions the better for him. A fine power is always heralded by great pain.

I have been having stomach trouble for ages, and more recently pain around my belly button area, i've been bitching about it on this site for years. Now I read that it is part of the path for a man of knowledge, I'm stunned and so shocked that I welled up upon reading this passage.

My answer then is not to consider this as an ailment or condition, but rather a growing pain, that is part of the journey towards letting out my Will. It is itching and scraping to get out, and I need to find a way to let it out and to direct it.

I'm not sure if this is related to my will, but it certainly is related to my re-reading of the book; I have been seeing following a reading session. It is like the words are somehow transformative to me, and I enter the state of seeing when I put the book down. Seeing is becomming quite familiar to me, and it seems very strange as I read about how Carlos cannot manage it. I realise that Don Juan's descriptions of it are spot on, and exactly match my expereince, yet poor Carlos just doesn't understand. I have also found agreement with Don Juan that seeing is not a means to an end, it's just a kind of reset switch.




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